Do we love to encourage others?
Some people have the gift of encouragement. I think of Barnabas in the Bible. But others, like myself, have to work at it. Encouragement takes effort and thought about another person. Criticism, on the other hand, takes little thought and usually rolls right off the tongue.
This Sabbath, I felt challenged to work on my encouragement skills and less on my criticizing. As I weighed the pros and cons (as I like to do!), I discovered some things.
(Godly) Encouragement:
Pros-
1. Builds others up
2. Motivates others in the right direction
3. Shows others they are loved and important
4. Can be just the thing to stop someone from self-destructive behavior
5. Reflects our Lord to others
6. Builds our own character to be more Christ-like
7. Can allow us to speak the truth in love in a way that is helpful to others
8. Forces you to put yourself in another's shoes
9. Forces a vertical point of view
10. Forces us to place a trust on a better future created by our God
Cons-
1. Takes time to think about
2. Takes more effort than criticism
3. Requires a higher level of maturity
4. Can make us uncomfortable if we discover it is hard for us
(Unconstructive) Criticism:Pros-
1. We briefly feel better
2. We get to release some pressure immediately
3. We sometimes identify a real problem
4. We don't have to think hard about a solution because we have dumped that responsibility on the hearer
5. God is able to use anything to bring about His glory, despite the intention of others
Cons-
1. Tears others down
2. Turns others off from anything you have to say
3. Shows others you think little of them
4. Vents your dislike of others' words or actions through a personal attack
5. Can push someone to destructive behavior
6. Reflects our selfish, imperfect nature
7. Puts a bad light on Christians-hypocrisy
8. Tears down our own character
It is obvious to me that encouragement is the way to go. I just need God's help to make it my more natural response to others. So often, when I disagree with someone's words or behavior, I am quick to criticize. "What were they thinking?" "Don't they know better?" "I thought they were smarter than that!" "I bet I could set them straight!"
I really don't want to be a part of the problem. God must get SO frustrated as He works to move in people's lives to speak truth to them in a way that is helpful and then I come in and tear the person back down and turn them away from Him!
How can I be a part of the solution? I choose to start by making myself aware of my actions. I can evaluate at the end of the day whether I was an encourager or a criticizer. As I get more familiar with my actions, I can recognize which path I am taking "in the moment" and ask God for His help to encourage.
I know that I LOVE when others take time to encourage me! It's crazy for me to be unwilling to do the same! I am reminded of some weeks during my Sabbath Challenge when negative and argumentative comments were a discouragement. Then one person would speak some heart-felt encouragement and truly lift my spirits!
Can you share a moment when someone's encouragement had a positive, life-changing effect on you?
Until next week,
Lisa G.
